Not long ago I was freakishly good at writing. So much so that I could write 1500 coherent words easy in one sitting within 15-20 mins!
Not joking, that was how I was when I was in the flow. Then something broke, it was the flow. The flow of doing something is very necessary. Once broken it takes a lot of time and energy to get back and ride it again. The way I was doing that was very simple.
I programmed my life. I was extremely involved in productivity, a term I picked up from a beautiful women giving a session on life and how to transform it into something “more”. Out of all that these people talked about there was one thing that sticked with me. The term productivity, I became obsessed. I started reading tons of articles, watched a lot of videos on productivity and planning and reached a point where my day was programmed onto my phone and I would get a notification for as trivial a task as brushing my teeth in the morning.
I took three course online on Organising my life by planning my year, my day and my months. I don’t remember it correctly but the process to be followed was a reward system. I resonated with the system so much so that I became obsessed with water. Let me explain.
I found out that water is essential for our body and usually most of us miss out on drinking the required amount. The ones who don’t have more energy, glowing skin and a clean stomach. I was one of the latter lot. I downloaded this called water buddy and started drinking water every 60 minutes or so. I was sort of like the water man for around 6 months. Just like water intake reminder, there was a reminder set for morning routine, afternoon routines, evening routines for weekdays, weekends for forever. This was a fun little project which made me extremely productive and at the same time punctual and organised in my day to day activity. It was all going good. It was so good that it was great.
That one day, I remember that one day when it all went south. The day that I stopped getting my notifications, I tried getting into the depths of technical blabber. I installed all sort of applications on my phone to get the notifications on my phone to start working again. As technically inclined as I am, I went as far as reinstalling the operating system to a custom ROM. I just couldn’t. The phone that I am carrying has its boot loader locked so I cannot change it unless I get into the code. Getting into the code to get the notifications to start working for the next three months and knowing that all that effort will be lost was not something I wanted to waste my time on, and I didn’t. But from that day till now I have been trying to get myself to get in that state of flow. I am unable to.
I remember the month it all started, it was last year around the new years when I began my journey to improve productivity and live an organised, more conscious life. I am still grappling with the “boredom”. I know its not boredom, its the state of not being able to get out of bed because your brain is fogged and you don’t have anything to look forward to. This state is not just an outcome of the flow but also the circumstances I am in. But yeah, I’d not want to bore you fine folk or you will not click where I want you to.
I don’t want you to click anywhere for now.
I am starting this blog again knowing that all of what I am writing can be destroyed anyday. That happened with my previous one. I still have all the server information and domain information with me but no one to support me on it. They say I need to buy that support plan to get it working. Thank you sire! I will rather start a new one. Later I will redirect the domain to this IP address so that anyone who searches for that page reached here only. It is a shame that so many hours of hard work turned to waste.
I am starting this because I like writing and writing is all you will find here.
Fair warning: This blog is going to be all about something and nothing else. Vague enough for ya!
I will write about stuff that goes on around me. Not real time! for that you have news 😉
I don’t have anything to sell, I don’t have the money to buy or a friendly ear to hear. I have already lost a lot of battles and I am wounded. I am trying not to sink too deep that I forget how to get back to the surface. I have a few regrets, and the ones who say they don’t should take a deep breath. It will soon become difficult.
Today I let you win or lose! Whatever makes you happy man! Goodnight.
Take it, enjoy. Have a good meal at the end of the day 🙂